Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures/Lecture 35
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There was my uncle Wardle; a greater man never broke the bread of life: he took to billiards, and he did not dwell with aunt a month afterwards. You can not win a match if you happen to method and putt badly; however there are some courses, Sandwich, for example, where it's possible you'll just as properly go house as dream of profitable a match or making a respectable score in case you are "off" your driving. Tennis, as an example, while you first fail to win a short chase, or your opponent keeps on serving nicks; billiards, when your ball is always below a cushion, or the balls useless protected time after time; cricket, when an umpire has given you out by a mistake of judgment-all these are trials, they usually type a part of the self-discipline of life. Is there a rhymne to remember which order to pot snooker balls? There are smoking-rooms for individuals who smoke, billiard-rooms for individuals who play billiards, and a card-room for individuals who play cards.
Then there's a 3rd one which is the oldest, a fourth one distinguished for scholarship, a fifth for athletic records, a sixth as a result of it has the best chapel, a seventh for I do know not what, and as there are not less than fifteen of them, I have blended them all up; I see only the castellated palaces in Perpendicular type, the large quadrangles, the place the pupils move about in black gowns and sq. tasselled caps, every of whom has his two or three rooms in the wings of those castles; I see the Gothic chapels disembowelled by Protestantism, the banquet-halls with a dais for the "masters" and "fellows," the venerable smoked portraits of earls, statesmen and poets, who went forth from there; I see the renowned "backs," i.e. the rear of the faculties above the river Cam, over which there are bridges resulting in the historic school parks; I float on the gentle river between the "backs" and the parks, and i consider our college students, of their hollow bellies and their boots down-at-heel with trudging from lecture to lecture. Indeed, if there had been any luring to be achieved, it is probable that he would have done it, and not they.
However the ridiculous exhibition of temper and sulkiness that an excellent many players present habitually, only begins to be humorous when the sport is over and the opponent of the irascible one is telling a congenial buddy after dinner about it, and the offender shouldn't be current. I saw your young-er-relative in earnest dialog with buddy Monk this morning,' stated Marriott, later on within the day, to Gethryn; 'I believed you were going to provide him the tip in that route? Professor Brierly has a passion for pure thought. A funeral will not be an exciting or notably pleasant occupation, however there are a lot of funerals the place a useless silence is not more cultivated than at some golf matches; and it's silly and useless to fly right into a ardour because any individual thirty or forty yards off who isn't taking part in golf at all, or at any rate has nothing to do with you, talks or laughs in order that you should hear him.
There might be no doubt that golf is terribly making an attempt to a man. The wound to my vanity was considerably soothed when i realized that there is just not an beginner on the earth who can beat this old man. Most gamers improve in temper, or, relatively, a philosophical calm comes over them, as they develop older; however there are some, forming fairly a respectable minority, of whom the precise contrary is the truth, and the melancholy reality needs to be recorded that they get worse and worse. It is advisable that no one should stand behind a man's membership when he hits the ball, however even this, I really feel convinced, a man can get accustomed to, if he will solely apply his thoughts to it. He has lost some of his size, he can't force a ball out of its bunker as he did previously, and his eye just isn't quick at judging the distance of about eighty yards which he has to carry to get over some danger. I never knew a man enter a billiard-room that he wasn't misplaced for ever. Having two idle hours on my fingers, I went into a billiard room formerly on the southwest nook of Broadway and Fiftieth Street, New York, the place I performed billiards with an old man of seventy-six.
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